how eighty-five simple little words drove me off the deep-end…

All morning I’ve been struggling to write something in response to a comment that was posted earlier. I’ve been going nuts over a paragraph’s worth of words. I don’t know why. I’ve written three different drafts so far, and not a one is worthy of sharing. I keep going off topic. I’m rattled. I don’t understand why. Maybe this attempt will actually manage to be posted.
Yesterday I shared a link to a commentary that was published in the paper, and also made use of the posting to plug a friend’s art showing. Plain. Simple. Just another bit of my randomness.
Included in that posting, I stated that I wish to attempt to take the challenge that the writer had issued; a challenge to eliminate Wal-Mart from my family’s shopping, and to take advantage of the smaller “local” shops instead.
This post sparked a simple anonymous comment which has led me into an odd position where I wish to write, but keep failing in finding my words. Failing to find my words. Funny. I’ve written well over two thousand thus far, which will most likely never see the light of day, not counting the words I am writing at this very moment.
Eighty-five simple little words have backed me in a corner, and I do not understand why. It’s driving me mad!
*sigh*
I’ve already responded to the comment, but I feel as if I have so much more to say. I feel that my reply doesn’t fully express my thoughts or feelings. It’s like I’m caught in some ugly balancing act. I’ve wasted nearly an entire day by trying to figure out what I want to say. Perhaps I’ve already said all there is to say on the matter. Yet I still feel that there is more. I dunno. Lemmie try again, from the beginning.
Heather Ladick, a local businesswoman, was a guest columnist for this week’s edition of The Cynthiana Democrat. Her column was a commentary discussing a personal challenge she had committed herself and her own family to; a challenge to focus on shopping at “local” stores, rather than relying upon the newly built Wal-Mart Supercenter. Later, in closing her writing, she issued a challenge for other members of the community to do the same. I found this challenge appealing, so I decided to share it, and to proclaim that I would be attempting to take on the challenge. In response, someone commented to my post, stating that until Cynthiana had more to offer and became more accessible they wouldn’t shop the local stores. Here is where I find my trouble. I keep trying to address this comment and am having extreme difficulty in doing so. Oddly enough, it is an argument that I have long had with my wife.
Maybe another quick rewind to a previous writing of mine will help. In January of this year, I wrote a few words that were based on a discussion which took place on Coffeebreak. My words are as follows:

The BIG problem is our citizenry.
We don’t speak as loud as we should. Before I continue, I should say that I am as guilty of this as those I am taking issue with–I don’t speak out as much as I could. I don’t attend civic meetings. I don’t contact my local, state, or federal representatives. I am not as active in the community as I could be. I moan and cry about how terrible things are, and what different bone-headed decisions and directives our local, state, and federal governments make–but I don’t take any action. That, my friends, is the BIG problem. Our community is filled with people who do the same.
“Has anyone ever said to you that the city is dying?” Rick asked this question on the program this morning, and I do not know fully what he was asking–was he asking the question straight-out? was he trying to spark some thought? was it something he has thought? or was it just a question that suddenly came to mind?
“It’s a dying town,” were a few of the words Diana said, late last week, when she asked me why I was so fond of Cynthiana. I really have no choice but to acknowledge her statement, and try to pick up with weak rebuttals as I look around. We have two industrial parks–one half-occupied, the other has seen only one development. I can think of three, maybe four buildings that had been used for manufacturing/industrial applications which now sit vacant. We have two major parks–one in sad repair, and the other has been sitting idle for five years, waiting to be developed. There are numerous storefronts in the shopping centers and in the downtown area which haven’t been occupied in months, even years.
Cynthiana is dying. And it hurts me to watch her die. And I’m not doing anything to help. I’m only standing at the foot of her bed, amongst all of you, watching her gasp for air.

I think some of those words are what’s keeping me from fully expressing my thoughts. I’m a hypocrite. Maybe that’s what has kept the Great Pumpkin away.
It’s been five months, and I’m still not part of the solution. Not a part of the solution. There are a few words that spark my memory to another something I wrote about (again, based around Coffeebreak):

An interesting side-note was brought about when Rick asked Roger what would make James just up and say, “well, let’s open it back up,” and exactly how that friendship turned partnership had developed. Roger stated that the two had been childhood friends since the third grade, and that they have always wanted to go into a venture together. Roger explained that James had left Cynthiana when he joined the Army, lived in Columbia, then moved to Lexington, and finally ended up back in Cynthiana approximately four years ago, after vowing not to return due to the belief that there isn’t much to do in this town. This had been an interesting point for exchange of words between the two friends. Prior to the decision to open the Rohs, Roger’s wife wisely stated that “if you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem,” in response to one of these grumblings. About a week later, Roger broke the news, “We’re gonna open the theater,” to which his wife responded, “well, I didn’t mean that.”

But, to try and bring myself back to the point, I feel that Cynthiana is dying, and it is the poor attitude that we collectively have about her that is killing her. If you listen to the public, it would seem that most of us whine about our local government. Is it truly our government’s fault? Honestly? No! It can’t be our government’s fault. After all, we are the ones who tell them what to do! Simply put, it’s our own idiocy that has taken us to where we are. So how do we fix it? Two words–take action.
Are Ladick’s words ones that will work? Yes, for some, not so much for others. And it sounds like my commenter falls in the “not so much” category. Is this a problem?
My commenter simply stated that he/she will not waste his/her time on shopping Cynthiana at the present moment. Cynthiana is not serving that persons needs of parking, variety, and business hours. I understand. Now, the question comes as to how the community, businessmen & women, and our civic leaders can address this issue. Take action. Those same two words.
In the example of James and Roger, James had once vowed to never return due to Cynthiana’s inability to provide. He came back, and aided in the reestablishment of The Rohs. Simple talk between the two brought about the idea of re-opening the theatre. They took action.
Ladick’s writing inspired me to make a promise to myself to try and shop Cynthiana. It may not be much, but it is an action of sorts. The story also made me say something about it. Which in turn sparked that comment. Which has now brought me the headache of writing another nonsensical post on the subject again; now giving additional advertisement of the notion of shopping Cynthiana (and if I type the word Cynthiana one more time I think I’ll scream!), and every person and business linked in my blog! And who knows, maybe this entry will magically become passed around the interwebbitubes and people will start clicking on previous entries and discovering links to area businesses (most of which are linked at the bottom of the posts where I was bored enough to write about Coffeebreak). Imagine that. (Unlikely, I know. What will likely happen is that what few readers I have will just glance over this and think “o…k…. he’s nuts.”)
I guess the real point (there was a point!?!?!) in my writing is that everyone needs to do something, no matter how small, in trying to make our community stronger. I think a personal “boycott” of the supercenter is an interesting idea, which might even lead me to discovering more of what’s in town.
…and I have now grown very tired of staring at this screen, so I’m going ahead and posting this.