[This post was originally authored elsewhere. I’ve since decided to include it here.]
One thing that I’ve discovered is how much more emotionally exhausting being a single parent can be. It’s hard to try to be everything to the children, and to be there without falling apart in front of them. Fielding the commentary of how they wish that their mother was with us and still a part of our family brings up so many different feelings and emotions inside of me. How do I respond?
Most of the time, I simply tel the child, “I know,” and that “I wish she was here, too.”
…and sometimes, I do wish that their mother was still with us. It’s difficult to say why I fell that way, though. Is it because I wish I could grant the children that wish? Is it because I miss that family element that we’d had for over a decade? Is it because I am lonely?
Other times, I wish that their mother would find a way to grow more distant from us, because of all the heartache and pain that she’s brought–and continues to bring–upon this family.
[Republished March 27, 2016]