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Another writing from a notebook, transcribed later…
5:54p.m. I got here late, in comparison to usual. And Laura is early. She just arrived.
Well, so far, including me, six students are here.
I ran to one of the labs a few minutes ago in order to print-off my blogging draft.
Yay! We just got an an in-class assignment from two? three? weeks ago. I got a 10/10 without any corrections on my paper. It was a response to To Bid the World Farewell.
We’re receiving a one sheet handout on APA documentation. I left my manual at home. Left it there for Diana to use for tonight. She has a paper due.
Taking roll now. 6:04p.m.
I had received an email from that Dan Cawley guy of Quick Clicks. Oh, I haven’t mentioned anything on Quick Clicks, or the email I sent. I’ll have to get back to that later.
Laura’s going over the APA cheat-sheet. Mentioning the troubles of citing we-resources. Web-resources can be a total pain. Reason being is that all  the information needed for citation isn’t necessarily there.
6:11p.m. She’s drawing examples on the board now. We’ve taken these notes before. I have no idea what the date was. I failed to date that page. I believe that it was week three. I dunno. I’ll have to research that more to find out. What’s sad is that when I took the notes, I failed to capture everything that was written on the board. I did that primarily because the material was either common knowledge at this point in our educational career; or the material is covered in greater depth in the APA manual.
6:17p.m. Just finished the notes on the board and doing a recap/Q&A. No Q’s though. All A’s. We really don’t ask many questions. Now she’s mentioning the citation websites again. I could only find one – can’t remember the URL. It worked o.k. I don’t know if I’ll use it again.
Gearing up for the co-edit of the papers. OOPS! Two forgot theirs!
(BREAK FOR READING OF ANOTHER STUDENT PAPER)
I just read instructions on how to plumb a house. I can’t say that it was in-depth. It was a good try. Poor guy. I hope he makes it.
6:30p.m. I’m not really participating in the co-edit process. I’m not going to get any decent criticisms anyway.
6:34p.m. Oh, I am bored. Well, one good thing does come from this – I am writing!
Kinda looks like it might rain. Looks overcast.
I can’t believe that I got a spot in the parking lot. It was a miraculous feat! I slid in her at like ten till six, and actually found a spot! Last parking place on the side row. I almost missed it. I quickly backed up and pulled in.
6:39p.m. and we’re readying for break. Final paper will be comparison/contrast. I wonder if I should polish off that paper I wrote last quarter. It was interesting. Well, break. No, wait! Dismissed! Awesome!

A short while ago, I posted a paper that I was submitting as an assignment in ENG101. I have received that paper with suggestions and corrections made by my instructor. I am now re-posting that paper, with her suggestions and corrections made. Additions, corrections, etc. shall be colored purple. As it stood, I received a B for my work. I am pleased.

 

An Extended Definition of Borderline Personality Disorder:

Navigating The Labyrinth

Jeremiah Hall Palmer

ENG101

Sullivan University

 

A room. A large room. Not just any room – an expansive room, filled with the absence of light. The room is familiar, and yet, there is something very unsettling about it. The room change, shifts, reconstructs itself. All the basic elements are there – walls, doors, ceilings, floors – everything familiar and known is present. The room changes. The doorway that had been only a few feet away from you has now somehow gone ten feet away, and leads to somewhere else. The room changes. The labyrinth grows. You are lost in the maze of darkness, and everything that you should know about the room proves incorrect, yet at other instances all logic prevails, and a bit of light may be shed and you find your way.  [Avoid shift to 2nd person]

 

While the analogy above may sound more like a partial synopsis of The Navidson Record in the novel House of Leaves (Danielewski, 2000), its purpose is to serve as a definition of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) – and what the sufferers; meaning the person having the symptoms and diagnosis of the mental syndrome; as well as the persons within the life of the diagnosed experience.

 

According the American Psychological Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fourth edition (DSM-IV) [italicize title], Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) as a condition where a person’s mentality and emotions vary from the norm by showing instability in overall behavior, self-image, identity, mood, relationships, and the classification of things in terms “black and white”, or “right or wrong.” These aspects are further outlined in the criteria listed in the DSM-IV, and are offered as a guideline for possible diagnosis, where a person suffering from BPD will show five of the nine listed specific symptoms. (APA, 2004)

 

Commonly, the BP has issues with interpersonal relationships. This causes tremendous troubles for both the BP and the non-BP his or her associates. The BP may exhibit a lack of trust in the non-BP, and show violent or irregular changes in attitude toward the non-BP. Reasons for these trust and anger issues may vary, and typically will, for the issue lies deep within the BP’s previous life experiences. The BP may have been a victim of some sort of abuse, be it emotional, physical, or sexual (Wikipedia, 2007) [Wikipedia is not a credible source. Can you document the info from a better source?]. These experiences then influence the attitude of the BP, and the feelings get applied toward the non-BP. This transgression is not done intentionally; meaning that the BP truly wishes to behave in this manner; however, the attitude is brought about as a defense mechanism. The BP has been put on edge – a high alert— and looks for any sign that they he or she might be hurt once more.

 

The walls, the doors, the floorsare all familiar elements of this room. But something is different; something changes; the room has gotten bigger. The doors are further farther away.

 

A BP [This abbreviation seems impersonal] can enter into a relationship not expecting anything more than what any other person may expect. Things may seem fine or normal for a period of time. Then the BP will start looking for the signs (Harvard, June 2006). The non-BP may make the normal changes within their attitude as everyone is susceptible to doing. This simple change may scare the BP, therefore causing a sudden rift in their attitude, causing a change in the way they he or she [keep this all singular] looks at things, and in turn causing a change in how the non-BP sees their his or her friend/partner.

 

When people enter into a relationship, they typically show all of their good points, and get comfortable with one another before letting their lesser points slide in. One may be dating a person for a few weeks, going out to dinners and movies, and showing full proper manners, and then there will come that one night where someone breaks. While this example may be seem a bit stretched overstated, it does show how one changes their appearance over time, until they feel comfortable with the other. This simple thing, however, may in fact be just enough to make a BP start looking at the non-BP in a different light.

 

“My ex had terrible gas,” the BP may think, and then start looking for signs and other attributes that this non- has with their his or her former partner. This new non-BP, who has only broken wind, has now become “like the others.” […so it’s taken very personally?]

 

Abandonment is also a strong fear of BP’s. Feelings of abandonment stretch outside the walls of a close coupled relationship, and may involve relationships shared among friends or family. These feelings of abandonment may stem to th
e root of the BP’s psychosis, or may have come resulted as symptoms of the BPD. In the flatulent example aforementioned, the BP may have eventually gone too far in assigning negative attributes to the non-, and the non- simply grew tired of this poor soul’s baggage and left. Whether the non- left on good terms or abruptly left the relationship makes no difference to the BP – they were he or she was for all intensive intents and purposes, abandoned. The BP was abandoned because the non- just couldn’t take the changes in personality. The non- had been drawn into the BP’s labyrinth, grew scared, and finally found the door behind them, and ran out.

 

The room is very dark and grows darker still. The BP searches for a way out. The BP may become, or may have been long since long been suicidal. Their His or her life is seems empty. Nobody sticks around, not a single soul in the world for them, no one to love or trust. Sadly, among 8-10% of BPs find suicide as their way out of this maddening maze (Wikipedia, 2007). Still more Others turn to other a variety of destructive behaviors such as drug abuse, alcoholism, promiscuity, and so on, if they haven’t already (Harvard, June 2006). Thankfully, the majority searches for a light.

 

In the search for a way to light this dark room, the BP may actively search for friends. During this search, the BP will also be desperately searching for various ways to gain approval of the people around them him/herself. In the desperate acts of approval seeking, the BP may be viewed as child-like, constantly finding inappropriate times to interject, or add to a conversation, sharing experiences which may have no light on a particular subject, following people, consistent rambling, displayinghyperactivity, and so on. Due to this behavior the BP may just drive the nons- away, thus fulfilling their fears of abandonment once again. A vicious cycle has come complete again, and then it starts once more.

 

BPs may find light, however, through therapy. Therapy, however, can become just as troubling as the disorder.

 

The Grand Hall, just down the corridor from the large darkened room. Even darker. Still no light. [series of fragments] A large spiral staircase in the center. The staircase, more frightening, leads to the depths of the issue.

 

Somewhere along the way, the BP may have been diagnosed, or they may just realize that their symptoms deserve attention, so they seek therapy; where they shall become diagnosed as a person suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, if not many more psychological disorders (Harvard, 2006) [This sentence needs work]. In either case the BP has most likely come to therapy, entered The Grand Hall, to receive help with the symptoms – the trust issues, the anxiety and the depression. The counselor (inclusive of therapist, psychiatrist, and or psychologist) leads them to the staircase – the disorder itself. This long dark and twisting shaft is lined with many steps, many symptoms. The hole that they lead down is the disorder, and the depth of the hole, the number of steps leading down, can only be influenced by how the BP thinks and chooses to interpret things. A It is a scary walkway to look at for the BP, and the counselor. Truth be told, the counselors are typically more fearful of the treatment than the BP (Harvard, 2007). [Why?]

 

Enter the minotaur – the stigma of this labyrinth known as Borderline Personality Disorder.

 

With all the knowledge that counselors have of BPD, they have the misfortune of having to expect anything and everything from the patient. The counselors know the definition of BPD: unsettling and unstable moods, rage, suicidal thoughts, self-injury, fears of abandonment, intimacy issues, and over-all overall volatile behavior (Harvard, 2007). With this information, it’s hard to enter into a session without some slight. More difficult still, is resolving the nature of the disorder. Personality disorders are just that – a problem entwined within a personality, the very being of a person. Defining a line between the being and the human is difficult, if not nearly impossible. The problem is magnified where the personality is that of a borderline nature, meaning it can change randomly at any given moment, as opposed to its akin, Bipolar Disorder, which changes on a more patterned cyclic rate (Wikipedia, 2007). [To continue with illustrative efforts, bipolar persons are more like funhouses. The journey may be scary and fun, and ther
e is a definite end to the cycle before you one re-enters.]

 

The stigma then plays into the BP’s psychosis; the counselor has failed the BP. There is no help or hope. Abandonment, yet again. [fragment]

 

There have, however, been several good attempts at therapy, yet these styles of therapy do not show definitive solutions for the disorder. Therapy for the BP has been tried in one–on–one sessions, as well as in group sessions such as groups of Bps being counseled, or couples therapy for the BP and non-BP partners. Two forms of therapy have shown good response in BPD diagnosed patients. One therapy style, Schema-Focused Therapy (focuses on childhood, daily life, emotion and defining thereof), has shown full recovery of some patients after a four-year term, while having a larger number “showing clinically significant improvement.” Dialectical behavioral therapy (logic reasoning, weighing and exchanging points and ideas) has shown some use benefit in an effort to stop suicidal and self-injury tendencies, and is more welcomed by BPs in opposition of to traditional psychoanalysis; however, dialectical therapy has yet to prove any effectiveness in treatment of BPD. (Harvard, June 2006)

 

There are no medications for BPD itself; whereas, but a BP can be medicated for certain symptoms or for a concurrent mental health disorder. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI) have been used to aid in the improvement of anxiety and depression. Antipsychotics have also been tried in attempts to alleviate impulsivity and suicidal attempts. Anticonvulsants have been used as well, and have shown effects in stabilizing the mood of BPs. (Harvard, July 2006)

 

Borderline Personality Disorder is an enigma to everyone involved. A — a large puzzle without a solution. A — a maze without a map. A — a deep dark labyrinth. Though the single sufferer may never be completely cured (Harvard, July 2006), they he or she may, however, through therapy and the determined support of trusting friends and partners, be able to make it through life without having the house cave in on them him/herself. [This is a very effective definition of a complex diagnosis.]

 

 

References

American Psychiatric Association, (2004). Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-IV-TR (Text Revision). Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Publishing.

Borderline Personality Disorder. (2007). In Wikipedia [Web]. Retrieved July 6, 2007, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

Danielewski, M (2000). House of Leaves. Toronto, Canada: Random House.

Harvard Health Publications, (2007, January).The stigma of borderline personality. Harvard Mental Health Letter. 6.

Harvard Health Publications, (2006, July).Borderline personality disorder: Treatment. Harvard Mental Health Letter. 3-5.

Harvard Health Publications, (2006, June).Borderline perosnality disorder: Origins and symptoms. Harvard Mental Health Letter. 22, 1-3.