monday

It has been a while since I have had the chance to write anything in this blog. Life has been rather hectic for me over the past few weeks.

We finally moved out of the mother-in-law’s. There was a big arguement between Diana and her mother, and it finally made us both so pissed off that we finally declared that we were out of there. The fun part was breaking the news to my family, which had yet to be fully moved out of their current home.

It was rather fun, trying to move them out and us in at the same time. Somehow, we did it.

So, Diana, Taron, and I are living in our own home now. What could be better.

Diana got a job a few days ago. She’s working in a factory in Paris, about 30 miles away. She’s a temp, but hopefully thejob can pan out and she can be staffed there in a few months.

I’m still in the dead end job that I love and adore.

I wonder how we’ll survive.

I have no schooling past that of high school. (My stupid ass thought that I might just take a year off, get a job, and squirrel away a small amount of money ’till the following year when I would go to college. That was five years ago.) I am not qualified to do anything more than manual labor, flip burgers, or bag groceries. I am going nowhere.

I cannot provide for my family.

I am a failure.

Creatively Blue Balled

That’s how I get sometimes. I just want to do so much, just come out and fully express myself by doing something, or several somethings, and just have no outlet to do so. The build up is terrible. If only there were some way to masturbate one’s mind.

There are so many things that I would like to do. I just can’t get any of it done.

On another note:

I’ve been acting a little bit differently lately. I don’t know. Maybe it’s the change of being a father. I’ve been, I don’t know, just different. I’m no longer listening to the music that I usually listen (or had been listening) to. I’ve reverted to listening to a local AM broadcast, and have been doing so for the past week and a half. It’s kind of comforting I guess.

When I was a young child, that station (which used to broadcast simultaneously on an FM frequency) was mainly what my parents listened to, or, at least, from what I can remember.

I’ve been wanting to cry. Not for any appearent reason, just to feel the tears swell up in my eyes and run down my face.

I’ve been laughing and giggling more often, which is something that I do when I can find no other way to deal with a problem.

Maybe I’m stressed. Maybe I’m crazy. Maybe I’m just growing up.

I spend a lot of time with Taron during the nights. I change and feed him, which is a task that I absolutely love to do. Diana thinks that I’m a little odd because of that. She says that most men really don’t go in for doing that sort of thing. I can’t see why a father wouldn’t want to partake in the care of their child, even if it meant doing something that was once thought to be “woman’s work”.

“Woman’s work” bothers me. Not the type of work associated with that title, just the title itself. Their is no such thing as woman’s work, except for childbirth. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, those are responsibilties that ALL must share. I in fact love doing those chores, and prefer to do so, rather than having Diana do them. Just wish I had the time.

I can’t wait until we’re outta here. Hopefully we’ll be in our own home in a month. God I pray that the time will come soon.

I wish that I could just pick up and leave. Take Diana and Taron, and just leave this place, and find ourselves a better life elsewhere. If it were only possible. If only I knew that we could do so, without suffering any further financial losses, and that I would be guaranteed a job.

I don’t know why I wish that we could leave. The thought of leaving had never come to me before. I always thought of this community as my home. I’ve wanted to stay and spend my life here, grow old here, die here. Lately, I’ve been wondering if there is more for us elsewhere.

Perhaps Canada. Yep. That’s one place that I would like to go, and possibly live. I’ve always heard nice things about Canada, and after watching Bowling For Columbine (an excellent movie, I might add), I think that I would feel much safer there than here.

Maybe Utah. Find out more about LDS.

Of course, thinking about it, Kentucky ain’t so bad. We’ve got nice countryside and interesting weather. Just all them rednecks bother me. Of course, I’m one as well, so I guess I really have no room to talk.

I don’t know, maybe this entry has helped me get my mind off a little, but I still feel like my head is swollen and about to pop if I don’t go out and take a walk, stare at the stars, paint a landscape, wash the cars, write a novel, sing a song, …………

Now I really wish that I could cry. I’m depressing myself. I just want to curl up and cry.

The feeling will pass though. I’ll feel much better in a few minutes, when I publish this entry, disconnect, and hold my son in my arms.

Then, I’ll really want to cry.

For a different reason.

I love my baby boy.

Thank you for listening. I think this talk has helped me.
-Jeremy

Figuring out fatherhood

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to write anything here. I guess I need to figure out what all I have to tell you to catch you up.

Diana and I were able to come home with Taron on the 25th. Diana was released the day before, but we voted to stay until we could be home with our son.

The journey home was interesting, as we had some nice icy weather that came upon us a few hours before we left.

Well, we got home, and have, for the most part, been staying here, feeding and watching over our babe. Taron’s been to my place of work twice, as the roads weren’t in the greatest conditions, so I’d bring Diana and Taron in to town so they could make their appointments. After the appointments, Diana and Taron would come to the store and wait to go home.

Taron’s so cute!

The very first day that we had him home, I wasn’t much help. The feeding and diaper thing was too new. Now I’ve been doing it very regular, and love every chance that I have to feed and change him.

I’ve been half-way depressed. I don’t like us being here. I want us to have a place of our own, far from all the noise that Linda, Mariah, and Stephanie create. All the yelling that goes on bugs me. Then add having Mark and Angela pop in, whining that they need this, that, or twenty bucks. This is not the environment that I want my son to grow up in.

Fortunetely, we will be rid of this place in a month or so. I can’t wait.

I have to work today. I was originally scheduled off, but I have to take the place of another worker. Here’s that story:

On Saturday an employee meeting was held at the store. Several things were discussed, and a few new rules were imposed. Well, one of those rules was broken on Monday. The employee that broke the rule has now been partially fired. He was told that since he broke one of the rules mentioned just a few days ago, without any valid excuse, he shouldn’t worry about coming to work, and to pick up his check on Friday. The owner (former manager) said for Rob (now manager) to give that message to the employee, while she (the owner) waited for the employee to dispute the firing, and apologize to regain his employment. He has yet to call the owner, so, he’s gone.

Was any of that confusing? Okay, let me try to explain better using very poor dialogue:

owner: employee made a big mistake
manger: and what do you want me to do
owner: call him & say he’s fired
manager: fired?
owner: yep. he’ll probably call me and beg for forgiveness. if he does, he’ll be back until next time
manager: ok

manager: you broke the rules. you’re gone.
employee: ok

I hate that we’ll be losing the guy, but he has been slacking a bit. Example: A customer came in needing a power supply for an effects board for electric guitar. Power Supply needed: 12VAC 1000mA. Power Supply Sold: 12VDC 800mA. Not only that, but e then charged for the “free” plug end that comes with the power adapter.

Anyway, if he’s gone, maybe I’ll get a raise and more hours. I hope.

Well, I think I’ll be leaving now. Got a few things to get done.

It’s a boy!

Diana and I are the proud parents of a 5lb baby boy, Taron Hall Palmer. Diana gave birth to him at 0838 EST on this date, 22 Jan 04, in Georgetown Community Hospital, after 13.5 hours of labor.

Mother and son are fine. As of right now, both mother and son are in the hospital awaiting release after observation.

Futher posts to our respective blogs concerning the joyous occasion will be made at a time when we are all home and well rested.

-Jeremiah

Donate the Discontinued Stuff!

That’s what we do, in order to keep our stock current.

One of my tasks for the day was to come up with a list of discontinued stuff that we could donate to various groups.

Took about an hour for me to prepare the list, which I typed up in a spreadsheet, and sorted according to retail, cost, and item number.

What else did I do?

I moved a few things around in the stock room. The place needs to be resorted now. I just don’t know how the boss wants it. So, I leave it to sit there until tomorrow. Unless I get bored.

What am I talking about? I’m bored right now.

“hear the voices in my head, I swear to God it sounds like they’re snoring. but if you’re bored then you’re boring.”

ARRRGH!

Damned Pop-Ups.

Bazooka says I have ClientMan.bho1, FreeScratchAndWin, and HuntBar.

X-Cleaner agrees with my having ClientMan.
SpyBot shows that I have ClientMan, yet hasn’t been able to rid me of it.
Ad-aware hasn’t even found it.

Oh well.

My darling wife just asked me to check her blog. She wrote me a poem. Here is what she wrote:

Anyhoo…. Jeremy this poem is for you from the bottom of my little heart

Your love is like a rollercoaster
I can always get a ride
no matter how hard i try
it gets faster everytime
I get dizzy from the speed
and ache within with need
you always try your best
and you stand up to the test

All i need is you embrace
and maybe a little taste
of your sweet affection
and the feel of your erection !!!

Now that I am completely embarrased, I think that I will quit blogging for now, and do a little bit of work before we close (about an hour away).

Pickles

Baby Dill Pickles
Bread n Butter Cucumber Chips
Bread & Butter Sandwich Slices
Bread n Butter Slices
Bread n Butter Cucumber Spears
Dill Pickles
Dill Pickle Slices
Genuine Dill Gherkins
Genuine Dills
Good n Garlic Deli Dills
Good n Garlic Deli Halves
Good n Spicy Spears
Good n Spicy Dill Spears
Fresh Pack Kosher Style Pickle Spears
Fresh Pack Kosher Style Hoagie Pickle Slices
Hoagie Pickle Slices
Hamburger Dills
Hamburger Dill Slices
Kosher Dill Sandwich Slices
Kosher Dill Pickle Slices
Kosher Baby Dills
Kosher Dills
Kosher Dill Chips
Kosher Dill Spears
Large Whole Kosher Dill Pickles
Small Whole Kosher Dill Pickles
Spears Kosher Style
Large Quartered Spears Kosher Style
Thick Kosher Dill Pickle Slices
Thin Kosher Dill Pickle Slices
Old Fashioned Bread n Butter Pickles
Old Fashioned Bread n Butter Chunks
Old Fashioned Kosher Dill Halves
Old Fashioned Kosher Dill Chunks
Old Fashioned Kosher Baby Dills
Old Fashioned Sweet Gherkins
Old Fashioned Sweet Mixed Pickles
Polish Dills
Polish Dill Spears
Processed Dill Pickles
Sweet Salad Cubes
Sweet Gherkins
Sweet Midget Gherkins
Sweet Cucumber Slices
Sweet Baby Gherkins
Sweet Slices
Sweet Pickles
Sweet Pickle Slices
Sweet Mixed Pickles

and of course,

Stu
Drew
Lou
Tommy
Dil
Angelica

Picking on myself, and phone thongs

First, let me pick on myself.

I came to work early, as usual, and sat in the car listening to a CD of some of my favorite songs. The last song I listened to was Red Hot Chili Peppers “Love Rollercoaster”. I thought, “You know, you should write something nice and sweet for Diana in your blog, and use a line from that song.” then I thought “of course, she could do something like that and compare me to a rollercoaster, fun to ride, but lasts only two minutes.”

I can’t beleive that I shot myself down like that.

Anyway, my coworker for the evening, Matt, found an interesting product. Find it here:
Superior Communications.

Okay, I should get to work now.

Bored and don’t know what to say

I just can’t wait until we (Diana and myself) can move out of here and into our own home. Oh, to be in our own home again, it will be so wonderful. I don’t know how much longer I can put up with her mother.

Her mother can be so mean at times. Not towards me (not yet anyway). Linda (Diana’s mom) is just so bossy, and constantly has a chip on her shoulder. She’s mean to the grandkids (makes me feel uneasy about having our son around her) and her own children. Terrible.

In other news:

If you’d like to find out what’s been going on in my hometown, here’s some stories pulled from the local press:

Officer files grievance against mayor for public criticism of department

Man wanted for $73,000 money order deception

Went to the hospital last night. No BIG problems, so don’t worry. Here’s how it went:
Diana wasn’t feeling well yesterday, from the moment she awoke. Around 4pm, she called me at work, and asked me to take her to the hospital. She had called up the hospital, told them what was going on (she was seeing spots periodically, and had a headache all day), and they asked her to come in to be checked out. She, and the baby were fine. So, after being observed, we came home and settled in for the night.

I’m just glad that she’s okay.

Right now, I’m writing this off-line. I had to disconnect so that someone could use the phone.

I got disconnected rather.

Mark, Diana’s brother, is using the phone, trying to get in touch with his girlfriend, Amber. Amber left him last night. They apparently had an argument over her income tax return, and how it was going to be spent. So, she left, took their son, and presumably went to her mother’s. Their daughter is at school.

Mark and Amber have been together for a few years. Haven’t been married as of yet, and we don’t expect them to be. They don’t live in that nice of a world, and it’s sad that one of the children is exposed to it every day. “Bubby”, the son, is two and stays with Mark during the day, at his father’s until Amber gets home, then Amber watches over “Bubby” for the rest of the night. “Sissy” stays here through the week for school, and goes home on the weekends.

Mark is a pothead and a drunk. Mark Sr. (my father-in-law) is a crippled drunk, and watches “Bubby” when Mark is to drunk or high to do so.

In a month or so, when Diana and I are back out on our own, I plan to report Mark and Amber to social services. It’ll probably start a fight on that side of the family, if it’s found out who reported it (which, in a small town, it’ll have to get out). Diana’s on my side, so I know that there won’t be a disagreement between us. She’s wanted to report that mess for years, but hasn’t been able to do so, for the fact that they are still family.

I wonder if Mark is done playing with the phone yet. When I went downstairs to get a fresh cup of coffee, he was dialing, letting it ring a few times [presumably until the TAD (Telephone Answering Device – RadioShack jargon) picked up], hanging up, waiting, then redialing.

I’m not in a tremendous hurry to be online again, it’s just that I would like to go ahead and post this entry before I leave for work.

And now, something completely different:

I checked my email and got the notification for renewal on HarrisonEMA.com. So, now I know when that account expires. I’m planning on switching hosts for that site. I’ve been using Your-Site for the past two years. I have no complaints about their service; I’m just looking for something cheaper. The company I’m thinking of going to is Pinchpenny. From what I’ve read and seen of their services, they are a good host, and have very nice rates. I can get a few more features, plus 50MB more of space for $50 less.

I lost my cigarette lighter (no big loss, ’twas just a Bic) and have been using matches. I have only one match left now.

Let’s see, what else can I write, while I wait for an open phone line?

Since I’ve already told you a few times that I’m a cigarette smoker, why don’t I tell you my brand? (as if you’re really interested) Until recently, I smoked Marlboro Ultra Lights (then I became poor and cigarette prices went up). Now I try to keep with locally grown and manufactured (and cheaper too!). Kentucky’s Best – ultra lights. And, since I have mentioned tobacco on a site, which can easily be accessed by children, I feel obligated to type the following:

SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Cigarette Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide.

SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Smoking By Pregnant Women May Result in Fetal Injury, Premature Birth, And Low Birth Weight.

SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Smoking Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, Emphysema, And May Complicate Pregnancy.

I’m pretty sure there’s one more warning that I am forgetting, but I can’t find any packs with a warning different than those.

Just went back downstairs. Mark finally got a hold of somebody. He’s laying on the couch, talking on the phone.

Fred offered to fry me up some eggs. Fred is a nice guy. He offers to fix me something to eat just about every time he sees me. He hardly ever sees me eat.

Diana just woke up from her nap. She’s so cute when she looks sleepy.

Have you heard of BPL?
BPL is “Broadband over Power Lines”. A great concept. The idea is to allow highspeed information, primarily computer communications (Internet), travel across power lines. (Notice how I restated the obvious there.)
Advantages: Hicks, such as myself, living in the middle of BFE (Bum F**ked Egypt), can have an always on, high speed connection to the Internet.
Disadvantages: Possible Interference with radio communications above the FM spectrum, primarily in frequencies allotted for amateur radio operators (like myself).

For more information on BPL, check out the following links:

The REACTer. This is a magazine for members of REACT. An article on BPL is on page 10.

ARRL. Information from the Amateur Radio Relay League on BPL.

eHam.net Article & opinions on BPL.

Well, time to get ready for work. Later.

Sick Sad World

Daria rocked.

Speaking of, I just want to say that “the N”, a run of programming for young teenies on Noggin, scares me. I am also sickened that they are running episodes of Daria that seem to only deal with relationships. They also have edited a few episodes to fit the age group, which, in my opinion, wouldn’t be able to truly understand and catch all of the sarcasm in the show.

I’m getting tired, and it’s late, and I’m rambling, and I need to go to bed, and I am starting to annoy myself for saying “and” so much and creating a sentence which fails to end, and so I think I’ll stop writing and go to bed.