Tag: random_thoughts

So, why am I trying? Really? Why am I trying to go to school? Will I really better myself? Will I really become something? Will I really be able to achieve the dreams that I once had? Will I really be able to be happy?
I sit here, and I wonder about these things, and I fear that nothing will happen That nothing will come of any of this. Tat I shall remain trapped. That I shall continue o be unhappy. That I will never feel the joys and aspirations that my heart so desires.
I think and wonder whether I should just give up this dream, and whether I should go crawling on my hands and knees, back to that factory.
Why did I leave?
What am I doing?
What’s wrong with me?

Well, I am in day four of the not-feeling-so-well thing. Damned stomach bug. Belches are less frequent, but still rank. I’m having a problem with flatulence, and it’s rather rank, too. BMs are less frequent, and are starting to turn to a normal state.
Taron’s still fine – he has yet to experience this bug. Niv’s entered day three. It’s not slowing her down any; it’s only making her bottom sore.
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I’m having some rather interesting dreams lately. Well, actually, the dreams began about two months ago, and are just becoming more frequent, and a little more detailed. I’m not complaining – I rather enjoy these dreams! I just believe I may need to read up a bit on Freudian theories…
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I think I’m going to email Laura, my ENG101 instructor, and ask her to better define the requirements of this last writing assignment. The paper is supposed to be “academic” in nature. My question is whether my research for the paper should be “empirical.” I had switched to a different topic, for I wasn’t having an easy time researching for the other two topics I had chosen. Now my problem is that I’m just having a difficult time finding direction for this topic. I have a decent amount of material, but I’m just not feeling the spirit necessary to write anything. I’m just not getting into it.
The topic I wish to write about would be a bit easier for me, however information available would be a bit more limited. Limitations would be primarily where information would be found. I could find a history of the topic, and then a decent amount in trade publications and even more in general interest publications; most of which would be opinionated articles written by pseudo-, self-proclaimed, and media authorities – though most of these authorities would be educated and trained in the field.
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I dunno.
My stomach hurts.

I’ve been thinking about toys. I know that, for the time being, our children’s toys are safe. None of them appear on any recall list (though we have one toy which was manufactured some time prior to the “affected” range). I still can’t help but wonder and worry.
I dug around through Taron’s toys, and the vast majority were manufactured in China. What makes me worry is that I cannot be certain whether any harmful chemicals/materials/contaminants are present. I have no real way of knowing. Some of the children’s toys are made by, or licensed through Mattel or a Mattel brand, while others are made by lessor if not unknown companies; and of these lesser or unknowns, how many could have been manufactured at a suspect facility, or a facility owned and operated by a suspect subcontractor?
These things bother me.
I am honestly contemplating tossing all toys that say China on them – regardless of whether they appear on a recall list or not. Yes, it’s a paranoid thing to do, but I just can’t be too sure. It’s my children that I’m thinking about…
Comments?

I feel Blah.
Really Blah.
I’ve been a little sick for the past three days, and it’s taking a toll on me.
Niv’s sick, too. Got the poops. Her poor little butt is raw. Got a prescription cream to rub on her heiny. That’s all we can do…
Blah…

Music means a lot to people. Why is that?
Music can spark many different thoughts and feelings in a person. One might remember a particular instance in their life. One may remember a certain movie. One could even remember a commercial. Commercials, for that matter, can spark someone into searching for a song, because they like the background music featured in the thirty second spot.
Four commercials have led me to discovering some interesting songs – an Intel commercial led me to Basement Jaxx; a Hummer commercial led me to FC Kahuna; Vonage the 5.6.7.8’s; and a Suzuki commercial to the Mooney Suzuki.
While I was out running errands today I ended up having the desire to watch Back To the Future – Huey Lewis’ Power of Love was playing on the radio in a business I stopped in.
Currently I’m listening to Sheryl Crow. Several feelings are sparked there.
There is one CD that I own, that I wouldn’t have had I not wasted a part of my life with Sam. (wasted?)

Sam gave me this CD because she didn’t really care for Sheryl, and the CD meant something else to her – it was given to her by someone – I can’t remember who, or the story that went along with the disc. All I can remember is that she really didn’t care for the disc, and gave it to me, for she thought that Sheryl’s stylings were more of my taste anyway. She was right.
So, when I listen to this CD, I think of Sam, and when I started to find my independence. I think I’m still trying.
I had a friend sing a song off of this CD once at karaoke. I think about that too. It was hilarious watching and hearing her struggle to sing it, for she didn’t know the song. I loved it. I love that song, too. I don’t really know why. I guess it just fits me. One of my favorite’s to rock to while cleaning the house – I’ve even repeated that one track several times over while cleaning before – all the while singing my heart out. If we still lived in the days of vinyl, I’m sure that the record would have well over a dozen pops and clicks.
You know, french toast doesn’t sound like a bad idea.