we spent a portion of the night, tonight, watching old home movies of Linda's. i really can't explain the feeling that the experience has left me with. feelings, rather. heck, i don't know.

there were times that i smiled.

there were times i felt sadness.

there were times i simply felt depressed.

i think the most confusing emotions were those that i felt in viewing videos of Jade.

i feel like i had a hand in that. i feel like i could've. i feel like i might've been able to save her. i feel like there's nothing i could've done. i don't know what i feel.

…all that i do know is that i entered diana's life when i think she needed it.

…and i've tried to help.

…and still, i feel–i know that in several ways–that i have failed.

i'm afraid of doing more harm.

i pray that i won't.

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