8

sometimes i wonder whether i am actually doing enough…
do i really make her happy?
why does it seem like she’s still unhappy with me?
and why …
…does it really matter what others think?
“i hope he calms down”
“i hope he does for your sake”
“he is slowly”
i don’t know…

So, how come it seems like life is full of way too many hassles?

I just wish that I could have everything the way it SHOULD be instead just happening as it does.

I don’t know.

I wish Diana and I would stop fighting long enough to actually

I don’t know.

I don’t even know what in the hell I am trying to say.

Oh shit. now she’s awake and yelling at Taron.

Being For The Benifit of Mr Kite

There will be a show tonight on trampoline. I don’t know. It’s been too long since I have had the chance to write anything, so I thought I would. And I started it off by stealing words from John Lennon. I don’t really know what all to say right now. things have just been, I don’t know, eh? Is eh even a good way to express how things have been? I don’t know, and really can’t think of anything to say, so I think I won’t say anything at all, except: supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

imagine makes me cry

Music can say a lot about of a person. The types of music that a person listens to at a point in time may also reflect their current mood and feelings. If all of what I just wrote bears any truth, then what would you say my current mood is based upon the following playlist:

Edie Brickell & the New Bohemians – What I Am
Moby – The Sky is Broken
Simon & Garfunkel – Sound of Silence
REM – Shiny Happy People
The Cranberries – When You’re Gone
The Verve – Bittersweet Symphony
Blind Melon – No Rain
4 Non Blondes – What’s Going On
Stealers Wheel – Stuck in the Middle With You
Weezer – Island in the Sun
Moby – Porcelain
John Lennon – Imagine
Mamas & the Papas – Dream a Little Dream
Loreena McKennitt – The Mummers Dance
Evanescence – Bring Me to Life
Cher – If I Could Turn Back Time
Billy Joel – She’s Always a Woman
Moby – My Weakness

I’m kinda depressed. I feel …….

Diana went to karaoke. I’m here with Taron. He’s sleeping in my arms at this moment. Diana’s upset that we don’t do anything anymore.

I’m constantly tired, and really don’t wanna go anywhere. I’d rather be at home with my loved ones, rather than in dank and seedy bars surrounded by booze, in thick smoke, and outrageously loud music. I don’t enjoy that anymore. I can’t.

I have so much to worry about, and no way out.

…….. trapped.

I constantly feel like I am about to break into tears.

I put on a nice facade when I’m at work. I try to anyway.

My hair has gotten thick and is getting some length. I look very grizzly where I haven’t shaved in a few days. I look like …….

Diana got let go from her temp job. Shouldn’t be surprising. The key factor in temp jobs is the fact that they are temporary. Of course she was expecting it to last longer.

She put her car in the shop a day prior. Wrote a post-dated check for the bill which would’ve been good, had she been employed all the way through to the date it was written for. $730.

……. hell. I don’t know.

Years ago, when I was in high school, I had an English teacher who would have the class keep a journal. The first ten minutes of class was dedicated to writing journal entries. I wasn’t that good at doing so. I struggled to think of something to write, that I would be willing to share with anyone other than myself.

I guess things have changed.

I wish that it would rain.

Baby formula stinks. Baby formula burps really stink.

Poor Taron. Your father is nuts. Your mother ….. your father loves her tremendously. Your father wishes he could do more for the both of you. Unfortunetely, he feels as if he’s failing. Your father loves you.

I love you Taron. Forgive me for not being the best. I wish Diana was here. I need her.