Tag: diary

I’m really kind of getting upset at myself and the world for there being a lack of time in my life for me to sit down and express all my thoughts and feelings on anything and everything going on in my life. I do desperately want to share what goes on in my head, but there just simply isn’t enough time. And it frustrates me, as I know that there had been time once, even when I had been employed full-time. I just can’t seem to rediscover how I managed to balance things.

I mean, okay, sure, some of my previous efforts where kind of automated, using various scripts and plugins, jerking posts from other sites where I shared quick blurbs and status updates like here’s what I liked on YouTube, here’s what song I just listened to, here’s and article I stumbled upon, here’s where I went today, etc. Sometimes, though, it was those stupid little simple things that I wanted to share, and sometimes it was those things that I shared that helped me to create a post a day or so later hen I actually had the time to sit down and write.

I kind of miss that version of the Internet that I had played with. All the inter-connectivity that was possible–and all of it free!

It kinda looks like I might’ve broken something in my connection between my self-hosted and the wp.com mirror. I have no idea what I did–and I don’t have the time this morning to try and fix it. I likely won’t have the time for a week or more, honestly. Not that it matters much, anyway.

Edit/Update: Just attempted to duplicate the last post that wasn’t getting sent, as this one did. The duplicated one–which I started fresh as a new entry–didn’t go through, again. The only “oddity” between the two–this and the other–is that the other includes attached media, whereas this is text only. Hmmm.

Rapid-fire random commentary, as I’ve not a whole lot of time to write–but, hey, I’m writing!

Going back into work today after three days off. Was actually two scheduled days. I played hooky on Monday. Had worked six days last week. Last week was spring break and a week of PTO for Ashlee. I wanted an extra day off since I missed out on all that.

Planted a garden yesterday. The gardening began on the day I played hooky. I took a few hours here and there over the course of those three days to till the ground. The actual planting happened yesterday. With any luck I’ll have corn, green beans, radishes, carrots, cucumbers, squash, and tomatoes. Gonna try for some arugula, lettuce, cabbage and broccoli in a raised bed. Just need to build it.

Did a bit of yard cleanup over the past few days, too. Need to do more.

Hoping to build a playhouse for the kids on Saturday.

Had fun of an evening with Ashlee doing a little shortwave listening most of last week. Skipped out on doing it one night, thanks to needing to repair the washer. Night before last we watched A Clockwork Orange. We’d found a promotional VHS copy at the Winchester Peddler’s Mall. The interesting bit was that it wasn’t what we expected from a promo-copy. We expected that maybe it was some sort of award related review copy; what it turned out to be was a copy sent to retailers following Kubrick’s death. The beginning “advertisement” before the feature was a sort of history of Kubrick’s films, and a message saying that with the (then) upcoming release of Eyes Wide Shut and Kubrick’s passing, now’s the time to purchase and stock Kubrick’s films for sales revenue.

I don’t want to go to work. I want to stay home. Not to sit around and be lazy. There’s just too many side projects that need my attention.

Ashlee has an interview on Friday for a different position at work. We’re hopeful that maybe she’ll get the position, but we’re not very confident that it will happen.

*sigh*

I guess that’s all the time I have for now.

There are many things that can cause me to feel mildly depressed at times; more frequently than not, it’s somehow “project” related.

I have so many different “projects” that I want to tackle, or goals to achieve; and so many of these silly goals and projects seem to be within my grasp, so easily attainable, close to completion, and so on. Yet, I’m still so very far from getting there. It’s frustrating. Depressing.

I have three cars in the yard or barn, awaiting my time, parts, and some tinkering before they can hit the road again; a Durango with transmission issues, a Sebring with engine issues, and a Cherokee with–well, it’s an old XJ, so, enough said.

I have a barn in disarray, filled with junk and scrap, begging for me to clean and organize it all.

I have a “workshop” of electronics needing repair and organization; a shack full of radio gear that collects dust instead of listening in on and making contact with the world.

I have computer and gaming systems in various states of repair and operability; many needing a controller, a power supply, a drive, or whatever.

I have so many things that I want or need to do with all of these fine toys, hobbies and interests; but so many times I find I’m lacking the ways, means, time, money to do anything more than give a passing glance and sigh,”someday.”

So, once again, I’m here to say that I am going to make an attempt at keeping a better diary. I kind of doubt that I will, based on my history of failed attempts, but I’m going to try.

Already, my head hurts. Odd swelling and swirling pressure circling through my cranium as I stare at this screen, trying to figure out what I might actually have that’s worth tapping out on the keyboard. Other than the struggle of finding time, the struggle of finding words and thoughts to share is perhaps one of the bigger problems I have in keeping a diary.

I don’t know what to say.

And now, the overwhelming feeling of lost confusion is driving me away from the keyboard. I think I’m going to go find a bite to eat and maybe a video or something to watch. Maybe I’ll get some motivation to write something after that.