[Diarium] Saturday, May 23, 2026

🗓️ Saturday, May 23, 2026 20:18
🌓 First quarter

I really don’t fully understand why I’m depressed.

I mean, I do.

But, I don’t.

Right now, at this moment, my depression is being fed by realizing that I go to work tomorrow, and then it’s another five days until I get to spend meaningful time with Ashlee. At least, I would hope it would be meaningful. And that’s not too so that we don’t spend meaningful time together throughout the week, when we’re together. I mean that it’ll be a week until we spend a larger amount of time together, instead of maybe an interrupted hour each day.

Thursday, May 21, 2026

Been sitting at the table, adding my Diarium entries into the collection of entries here, listening to the sounds of rain falling outside. And shivering; shivering because I walked the kids out to the bus with an umbrella, and in the process I got wet. I’ve not changed out of the shorts and tee I was wearing, so I’m still damp, and there’s a gentle breeze that keeps lazily blowing in through the windows. Sure, I could go ahead and dress for work, or close a window to rid myself of the discomfort, but I’m enjoying the breeze and my shorts are comfy.

I really don’t want to go to work. Yes, here comes the same old song; I’d much rather stay at home, and do a little bit of housework. Thing is, on a lazy rainy day like to day, I might struggle to get any housework done. Honestly, I’m worried that I will struggle with that tomorrow and Saturday, as there are even higher chances of rain throughout those days. Hopefully, Ashlee can help keep me motivated to working around the house on those days–and hopefully I will be able to offer motivation for her, too, as she may end up suffering from the same issues.

I’m halfway looking forward to next week. Okay, maybe not halfway. Maybe a quarter-of-the-way. I’ve “been shorted hours,” as some of my co-workers would like to say, and am scheduled out an hour earlier than the norm on each workday. I’m excited about that added hour at home, though my wallet may not be. Who cares about my wallet, though?–I’m more concerned about my mind, body and soul.

Well, it looks like the clock is telling me that I should get myself dressed and out the door. Guess I should do that.

[Diarium] Wednesday, May 20, 2026

🗓️ Wednesday, May 20, 2026 22:47
🌒 Waxing crescent
Had an okay evening, I guess.
After the kinda depressing drive home–depressing in that I was thinking about how tomorrow will be the last time I drive Ashlee’s Durango to work–I laid across the bed and napped while Ashlee took her shower; Ashlee was scheduled in an hour earlier than usual tonight, so I got home in time for her to get ready to leave. I guess that’s another part of my depressing drive; realizing that tonight would only be a passing, really, instead of a small sliver of time together.
Before she left, we quickly spoke on the whole team lead thing; she said she thought that maybe it’s not that great of an idea for her to go for it, and I was like why not, and so on. I’m kind of glossing over that conversation–I’ll likely go more in depth, later.
After Ashlee left, I fed the dog my dinner, and made myself a couple of bologna sandwiches. After that, I decided tonight was the night to go ahead and take the dishwasher apart; the dishwasher, however, decided to work after I gave it a quick test. So, yay, we have a dishwasher, again. Not knowing what I could do next, I peered into the living room and decided to clean the couch. I turned the TV on to The X-Files and began vacuuming out every crevice and over every inch of the cushions; following that, I rubbed and scrubbed things down with a rag and soapy water. The couch is looking good again. After that, some folding of laundry, followed by just some simple relaxation with me watching The X-Files and munching on popcorn.
In the meanwhile, Ashlee messaged me, informing me that she interviewed with Matt for the position.
Now, I’m laying in the tub, soaking in a nice hot bath. And, now, as the sweat runs down my brow and into my eyes, I think it’s time to put my phone down, enjoy this bath, and head to bed.

[Diarium] Wednesday, May 20, 2026

🗓️ Wednesday, May 20, 2026 14:30
🌒 Waxing crescent
I’m not really looking forward to driving the pickup on the daily, again. I mean, I like driving it; and I do enjoy having it. But I miss having some elements of comfort; that’s why I’ve taken advantage of Ashlee not driving her Durango. I dunno. I guess I just need to swallow that pill and get back into the routine of driving the truck. Maybe I can fix the Sebring and start driving it. Unless she tells me no to it, too.