Tag: Diarium

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know if there’s anything wrong with me. Is it normal to be starved for friendship? Is it normal to be jealous or envious of friendship?

What is wrong with me?

My next day off is Wednesday. I really don’t like the sound of that. I wish I had it a lot sooner.

Currently sitting at the kitchen table, just kinda of waiting for it to become time to leave for work.

I’ve been fighting off sinus issues related to the ever changing weather. It sucks.

Ashlee halfway got me interested in toying with retro gaming emulation again. Been tinkering with the Batocera box in the living room, and installed Reroarch on the Windows 8 machine in the family room. I need to go through the files on the Batocera box and kill dupes and any broken arcade roms.

I need to change the oil in the pickup.

I really want to figure out the transmission issues in the Durango.

I want to get back into programming and installing radios in the vehicles. I want to figure out a base station solution for in the house. I need to finish setting up the shack in the workshop.

Well, it’s getting even closer to time to leave. Guess I’ll make one last run to the bathroom and leave.

I’m just a bundle of raw nerves and emotions and blah.

— 09:50 —

Been a little bit since I’ve written anything. Haven’t had much time, nor much of anything to write about.

One thing that I can say for right now is that when it comes to work, I have this thought and feeling of not even knowing why I’m here, or why I’m bothering to come to work. I dunno. Maybe I’ll express more on that thought later.

— 11:10 —

I hate Christmas

— 14:07 —

It’s cold. And the Google says it’s gonna get colder.

Nivea and Violet left a while ago to go spend a bit of time with their mother; Nivea was here a couple days for the Thanksgiving holiday. It was nice having her around; it’ll only be a couple weeks before she returns for the winter break / Christmas holiday.

— 14:17 —

I’ve been sporadically wasting time over the past week purging emails from my inbox. I’d amassed a count nearing 50k; I’ve gotten it knocked down to around 38k.

I figured out why all the trees were being cut down at work; they’re replacing them. Many of the trees had started to die out, so, I guess they decided they needed to plant new ones.

I ran over to Kohl’s on lunch to pick up a doormat I purchased online; not sure if I like the honor system that seems to be in place for “self pickup”.

Parked over by ACC when I got back to work. Not sure if the craziness of the main lot is related to it being holiday season, or the threat of a little snow.

I didn’t get time to make a couple of returns before work, nor did I have time to do it on lunch. Guess I get to do it after work.

— 08:48 —

Woke up a few minutes before my alarm went off, which means I actually woke up late, seeing as I gained an hour of sleep last night. I hope that means I’ll start getting up easier in the mornings; I usually do when we fall back.

Other randomness; saw a truck fishtail in my rearview making the turn from 62 onto Cherry Blossom. Fairly new Chevy. Undoubtedly some guy younger than me that doesn’t realize you need to take turns slow when the road is wet. Probably the only RWD vehicle they own. Some people.

And in other news, I loaded the nicsure firmware on one of my H3s. I’m liking it, so far. Just need to keep playing with the radio and learning what it’ll do.

Sigh.

Guess it’s time to go into work.

— 13:58 —

No idea why, but they cut down all the trees at work.

— 08:03 —

I am so not where I really want to be mentally. I feel so frazzled. I haven’t much time to think things through. I struggle to remember things I’ve tried to keep note of.

— 22:21 —

Earlier, Ashlee sent me a few photos from the kids’ first Halloween, in 2021. I know she was probably reminiscing and thinking in terms of it having been their first, how little they were, how cute they were, etc. Sadly, I went to the negative side, and remembered it being a bust. There was a nice aspect of it, in that we walked around town in Paris, but we didn’t get anything. There wasn’t anyone else on the streets, there weren’t any open doors or porch lights; there was nothing. And us being the type of people we are, we didn’t just venture up to someone’s door and knock; we played it by the way we had been accustomed–only approach houses that appear open and welcoming, or at least have someone sitting there. And there was nobody. We weren’t the only ones that experienced this, and Paris wasn’t the only place this happened; I remember Ashlee reading random posts of people in Georgetown experiencing the same. Either the previous year’s COVID scare or that year’s dismal weather–or a combination of the two–kept people from handing out candy and being sociable. It sucked.

Thankfully, by 2022, things had changed, and the kids got to experience trick-or-treating the way it should be, in Cynthiana.