…just another random person's thoughts & digressions.
“Do you have time to write about your day?”
…or something like that was the prompt for today.
I guess I have a minute or two, but I have nothing really to write about. It was really another uneventful day.
After a couple days of searching, I gave up and ordered a new programming cable so that I can play with a radio Dad gave me last week.
That’s about it.
Now, I’m sitting in the break room, waiting for work to begin.
Ugh.
I wanna go home.
Lunar phase: 🌘 Waning crescent
“Tell me something about your day”
I dunno. Not much to say. I folded laundry, watched TV, cooked supper, napped, and am now at work.
I feel a little depressed, honestly. I really wish that I was in bed, looking forward to a day of spending time with the family. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. And it looks like that sort of thing (other than what can occur on a day off) won’t be in the cards for at least another four months, if not longer. Honestly, it’ll be longer. Or, in the interest of our financial future, it’ll have to be longer.
I don’t know.
Sometimes this whole work thing is so damned depressing.
Lunar phase: 🌘 Waning crescent
“Has something good happened to you today?”
Nothing has really happened.
Lunar phase: 🌖 Waning gibbous
“What have you done today?”
Not a whole lot, except work and barely sleep.
Did watch a movie with Ashlee at supper. Coco. Kids were uninterested.
Had a talk with Violet before leaving for work. Not sure if it helped any. Violet is continuing to struggle with being a teen. I don’t think there’s much that I can do besides listen and keep reassuring her that she’s a good kid and is handling things as well as she can and that everything will be fine.
I dunno.
Lunar phase: 🌖 Waning gibbous
“What has made you happy today?”
The time I got to spend briefly with the family at supper. And the time I got to spend laying with my head in Ashlee’s lap.
I’m very tired.
So very tired.
Lunar phase: 🌖 Waning gibbous
Tired.
I don’t understand why people leave this break room a mess. How hard is it to clean up after yourself?
I don’t understand a lot of things about this place and the people employed.
I don’t understand why everyone seems to have a bad attitude about things. I don’t understand why there isn’t any sort of pride in anything. I don’t understand why everyone just carelessly throws things wherever. I don’t understand why nobody cleans up hardly anything.
It just drags things down. Doesn’t anyone realize that this negativity is contagious? Doesn’t anyone realize that it will just continue unless they make the change?
I don’t understand any of it.
Lunar phase: 🌔 Waxing gibbous
Tired.
When I got home this morning I completely crashed. Went directly to the bed, still fully dressed, and just collapsed. At some point Ashlee woke me enough to undress me. I didn’t awaken until 15:30.
I still feel tired. Several joints and muscles ache. It’s terrible. I don’t think I’ve felt this drained in a while, and haven’t felt quite this drained since I started working here. I guess it’s all finally *really* catching up to me.
I need rest. Good rest. And there’s not really any in sight.
On the financial front, I think I’ve got a better picture of what’s going on. Unless I’m mistaken, I think I heard Ashlee say that I kinda need to keep working for a couple years. While my pay is helping to work on things, it’s not quite at the pace I would hope it would be; I’m helping us stay afloat more than putting towards paying things off. I guess it doesn’t help that we’ve had a few odd surprise expenses pop up that have contributed to increasing our debt slightly.
I dunno. I’m tired.
I hope I can rest soon. I hope debts can be settled soon.
Lunar phase: 🌒 Waxing crescent
I’m tired.
Watched channel 9 Orlando before work to get a little bit of a feel for the hurricane that’s headed that way. Sent a message to my sister telling her I loved her.
Ugh. I’m tired. I wanna go home. I wanna sleep. Recurring theme, I know.
Seriously, though. I have a huge disliking for this overnight work. Still haven’t figured out any sort of fix for it. Not sure if there is one. Guess I should just do my best to get used to it.
Not really much more I can say. That’s kind of frustrating and depressing, too–the inability to come up with more to say on that or any topic. Just “almost existing” is about all I can say I’m doing right now; which sounds a lot worse than it actually is. I love my home and my family and everything. I’m just not really doing a lot with them or interacting with hardly anything. I’m just, here. Trying to stay alive. Trying to hold out for the day when I can enjoy everything again.
I miss my home and family. I miss the life I had before going back to work.
Lunar phase: 🌒 Waxing crescent
I kind of like this app trying to remind me to write something; I only wish that I had the time to actually do so.
Lunar phase: 🌒 Waxing crescent
I’m tired. I wanna be at home in bed. But I gotta work.
I really wish I could figure out something else I could do to take care of our financial needs. Working overnight sucks.
But I gotta do what I gotta do.
Hopefully all this is only temporary, and I can be home with the family again.
God, I hope so.
Lunar phase: 🌒 Waxing crescent