[Diarium] Wednesday, May 20, 2026

πŸ—“οΈ Wednesday, May 20, 2026 22:47
πŸŒ’ Waxing crescent
Had an okay evening, I guess.
After the kinda depressing drive home–depressing in that I was thinking about how tomorrow will be the last time I drive Ashlee’s Durango to work–I laid across the bed and napped while Ashlee took her shower; Ashlee was scheduled in an hour earlier than usual tonight, so I got home in time for her to get ready to leave. I guess that’s another part of my depressing drive; realizing that tonight would only be a passing, really, instead of a small sliver of time together.
Before she left, we quickly spoke on the whole team lead thing; she said she thought that maybe it’s not that great of an idea for her to go for it, and I was like why not, and so on. I’m kind of glossing over that conversation–I’ll likely go more in depth, later.
After Ashlee left, I fed the dog my dinner, and made myself a couple of bologna sandwiches. After that, I decided tonight was the night to go ahead and take the dishwasher apart; the dishwasher, however, decided to work after I gave it a quick test. So, yay, we have a dishwasher, again. Not knowing what I could do next, I peered into the living room and decided to clean the couch. I turned the TV on to The X-Files and began vacuuming out every crevice and over every inch of the cushions; following that, I rubbed and scrubbed things down with a rag and soapy water. The couch is looking good again. After that, some folding of laundry, followed by just some simple relaxation with me watching The X-Files and munching on popcorn.
In the meanwhile, Ashlee messaged me, informing me that she interviewed with Matt for the position.
Now, I’m laying in the tub, soaking in a nice hot bath. And, now, as the sweat runs down my brow and into my eyes, I think it’s time to put my phone down, enjoy this bath, and head to bed.

[Diarium] Wednesday, May 20, 2026

πŸ—“οΈ Wednesday, May 20, 2026 16:15
πŸŒ’ Waxing crescent
Courtney asked me how I’m liking lawn and garden. I said “meh, it’s a job”.
That’s more or less how I feel about it, anyway. Of course, that’s not far from what I feel about the store as a whole.
I do miss sporting goods and toys. But, meh.

[Diarium] Wednesday, May 20, 2026

πŸ—“οΈ Wednesday, May 20, 2026 14:30
πŸŒ’ Waxing crescent
I’m not really looking forward to driving the pickup on the daily, again. I mean, I like driving it; and I do enjoy having it. But I miss having some elements of comfort; that’s why I’ve taken advantage of Ashlee not driving her Durango. I dunno. I guess I just need to swallow that pill and get back into the routine of driving the truck. Maybe I can fix the Sebring and start driving it. Unless she tells me no to it, too.

[Diarium] Thursday, May 14, 2026

πŸ—“οΈ Thursday, May 14, 2026 08:27

A few thoughts that popped while driving to work:

I hate being such an asshole at times.

Whatever happened to pride-swallowing agree to disagree?

How can someone be so in love with someone as to sacrifice some of their own happiness?

I don’t know. Those are the thoughts. Meanwhile, I got interrupted in writing those down to help some guy in the lot figure out where his washer fluid went. Guess there’s my good deed for the day. Dear karma, take notice, and tell me I can go home.

I need to find a way out of this odd depressive funk I’ve landed myself into.

I dunno.

[Diarium] Wednesday, May 13, 2026

πŸ—“οΈ Wednesday, May 13, 2026 16:43

I feel trapped. I’m stuck where I’m at here at work. I’m really not liking it a whole lot in lawn and garden. There’s not enough freight to run. There’s too many instances of having to play both the cashier and the door host. I hate it. But I can’t promote. Sure, I could. But if I did, Ashlee and I would fall out of sync on days off, again. I’d love for her to come day side, but again, days off would fall out of sync. So I’m trapped. I hate this.