Tag: Diarium

[Diarium] Saturday, May 23, 2026

🗓️ Saturday, May 23, 2026 20:18
🌓 First quarter

I really don’t fully understand why I’m depressed.

I mean, I do.

But, I don’t.

Right now, at this moment, my depression is being fed by realizing that I go to work tomorrow, and then it’s another five days until I get to spend meaningful time with Ashlee. At least, I would hope it would be meaningful. And that’s not too so that we don’t spend meaningful time together throughout the week, when we’re together. I mean that it’ll be a week until we spend a larger amount of time together, instead of maybe an interrupted hour each day.

[Diarium] Wednesday, May 20, 2026

🗓️ Wednesday, May 20, 2026 22:47
🌒 Waxing crescent
Had an okay evening, I guess.
After the kinda depressing drive home–depressing in that I was thinking about how tomorrow will be the last time I drive Ashlee’s Durango to work–I laid across the bed and napped while Ashlee took her shower; Ashlee was scheduled in an hour earlier than usual tonight, so I got home in time for her to get ready to leave. I guess that’s another part of my depressing drive; realizing that tonight would only be a passing, really, instead of a small sliver of time together.
Before she left, we quickly spoke on the whole team lead thing; she said she thought that maybe it’s not that great of an idea for her to go for it, and I was like why not, and so on. I’m kind of glossing over that conversation–I’ll likely go more in depth, later.
After Ashlee left, I fed the dog my dinner, and made myself a couple of bologna sandwiches. After that, I decided tonight was the night to go ahead and take the dishwasher apart; the dishwasher, however, decided to work after I gave it a quick test. So, yay, we have a dishwasher, again. Not knowing what I could do next, I peered into the living room and decided to clean the couch. I turned the TV on to The X-Files and began vacuuming out every crevice and over every inch of the cushions; following that, I rubbed and scrubbed things down with a rag and soapy water. The couch is looking good again. After that, some folding of laundry, followed by just some simple relaxation with me watching The X-Files and munching on popcorn.
In the meanwhile, Ashlee messaged me, informing me that she interviewed with Matt for the position.
Now, I’m laying in the tub, soaking in a nice hot bath. And, now, as the sweat runs down my brow and into my eyes, I think it’s time to put my phone down, enjoy this bath, and head to bed.

[Diarium] Wednesday, May 20, 2026

🗓️ Wednesday, May 20, 2026 14:30
🌒 Waxing crescent
I’m not really looking forward to driving the pickup on the daily, again. I mean, I like driving it; and I do enjoy having it. But I miss having some elements of comfort; that’s why I’ve taken advantage of Ashlee not driving her Durango. I dunno. I guess I just need to swallow that pill and get back into the routine of driving the truck. Maybe I can fix the Sebring and start driving it. Unless she tells me no to it, too.